​Moto Metal Wheels and Bike to Work Guy

One thing that is hard to understand is why so many people feel like that have to spandex up when they ride their bike to work, like they are doing the Tour de France or something. And then after spending $3,000 on a top-of-the-line road bike, $400 on specialized road bike shoes and a few hundred bucks on a ridiculously colored and designed spandex outfit, boast about how much money they save riding their bike to work.

To paraphrase Jon Bon Jovi, these people give biking a bad name.

Riding a bike to work is admirable, if you do it the right way and not call so much attention to yourself. Nothing screams “tool” louder than dude who makes sure everybody at the office knows he rides his bike to work.

There are several ways he accomplishes this:

1. He talks about riding his bike to work in the same manner others talk about Crossfit.
2. He doesn't change out of his spandex outfit until 10:00 even though he arrived to work at 7:00.
3. He changes back into his spandex outfit at 2:00 even though he won’t leave work until 5:30.
4. He forgets to bring his work shoes and noisily roams the tile halls in his $400 road bike shoes.
5. His bike is perched next to the receptionist's desk because there is no way he is leaving his $3,000 road bike outside.

As you can see, there is really no way you can compete with that. That is, if you ride your bike to work, your reputation will be ruined thanks to “bike to work guy.”

Of course, there are plenty of other reasons why you should never ride your bike to work.

It’s Dangerous

Can you imagine riding your bike to and from work with all of those crazy drivers out there? All you have for protection is a helmet made of plastic and styrofoam, which, in our book at least, is no match for metal.

We have been keeping score and we like a sure bet and it is a safe bet that in any collision between an automobile and a cyclist that the dude in the car will walk away unscathed. Not so much for the dude riding the bike. The last thing you want to have happen to you is getting up close and personal with a set of Moto Metal wheels as they roll over you.

Sweat is Stinky

Riding a bike is a sweaty activity. This means when you arrive at work, it is highly likely you are stinking up the place. This is quite evident as people passing you in the hall are passing out like they have just been chloroformed.

Co-workers who don't pass out ask you through watering eyes questions like “Did you bike to work today? It smells like you gutted a week-old skunk carcass in your cubicle.”

It Might Rain

What are you supposed to do if the sky open up and it starts pouring rain just as you are ready to leave work?

Spandex Doesn’t Suit You

There are some men who can wear spandex without suffering the shame, but not you, not by a long shot. So this begs the question: Just what are you supposed to wear when riding your bike to work?

It’s quite obvious that you can’t bike to work in your business suit. Well, you can but your tie is a hazard. So you need to figure out what to wear while you are making the commute on your bike and also figure out a way to transport your work clothes.

It all seems like a whole lot of work just to save a few bucks in gas.